








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1224 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,187 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1568 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1168 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 510 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 941 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $244,770 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 144 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #KCMc | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | KyöstiPöysti | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | gäry | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | Werty | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | Saunaklonkku | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | N1ple | 44% | 27 |
| #9 | JaansKA:_D | 43% | 7 |
| #10 | TseiWili | 36% | 14 |
| #11 | KEIJO | 33% | 12 |
| #12 | fat griffin | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TseiWili | 2 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Lisbetti | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Saunaklonkku | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | KEIJO | 1 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | R2G | 1 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gäry | 89 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | JaansKA:_D | 46 | 0.33 | 1 min |
| #3 | KEIJO | 44 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Saunaklonkku | 43 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Lisbetti | 36 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lisbetti | +3.79 | 79 | 40 |
| #2 | pikkumyy ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +3.45 | 72 | 58 |
| #3 | #KCMc | +2.19 | 48 | 78 |
| #4 | fat griffin | +1.61 | 71 | 67 |
| #5 | TseiWili | +0.28 | 63 | 38 |





