








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 71 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1922 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,562 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1585 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1402 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1970 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1605 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $634,467 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 145 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Young Mouthwash | 49% | 224 |
| #5 | The Dr of Poop | 45% | 22 |
| #6 | SmashRadiation | 41% | 63 |
| #7 | saaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitmnns | 41% | 91 |
| #8 | PurpleMist | 35% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Young Mouthwash | 58 | 0.0138 |
| #2 | saaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitmnns | 41 | 0.0229 |
| #3 | PurpleMist | 23 | 0.0114 |
| #4 | SmashRadiation | 17 | 0.0139 |
| #5 | screech | 9 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Young Mouthwash | 218 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #2 | screech | 203 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | SmashRadiation | 173 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | The Dr of Poop | 51 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | PurpleMist | 36 | 0.02 | 1 min |





