








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
656 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 946 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 124 | 13% |
| Smokes | 79 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 318 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 425 | 45% |
Our logs show you have wasted $19,585 of utility $8 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | watu | 35% | 109 |
| #5 | SammieApples | 27% | 11 |
| #6 | SmashRadiation | 25% | 24 |
| #7 | The Dr of Poop | 15% | 13 |
| #8 | saaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitmnns | 11% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Young Mouthwash | 37 | 0.0186 |
| #2 | saaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitmnns | 27 | 0.0402 |
| #3 | SmashRadiation | 12 | 0.0259 |
| #4 | watu | 11 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | screech | 5 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Young Mouthwash | 112 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | watu | 108 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | screech | 76 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | SmashRadiation | 63 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | The Dr of Poop | 36 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | screech | +4.82 | 79 | 51 |
| #2 | Young Mouthwash | +3.33 | 66 | 38 |
| #3 | watu | +1.04 | 58 | 56 |
| #4 | SmashRadiation | +0.56 | 66 | 63 |
| #5 | The Dr of Poop | -1.33 | 57 | 63 |





