








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 95 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2075 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,236 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 885 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1441 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1252 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1658 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $423,527 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 468 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | screech | 54% | 130 |
| #2 | watu | 49% | 224 |
| #3 | SmashRadiation | 44% | 62 |
| #4 | saaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitmnns | 41% | 74 |
| #5 | The Dr of Poop | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | watu | 49% | 224 |
| #3 | SmashRadiation | 44% | 62 |
| #4 | saaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitmnns | 41% | 74 |
| #5 | The Dr of Poop | 38% | 24 |
| #6 | PurpleMist | 36% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | saaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitmnns | 41 | 0.0287 |
| #2 | PurpleMist | 25 | 0.0125 |
| #3 | watu | 15 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | SmashRadiation | 15 | 0.0127 |
| #5 | screech | 9 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | watu | 236 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #2 | screech | 198 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | SmashRadiation | 171 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | The Dr of Poop | 66 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | PurpleMist | 39 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | screech | +3.48 | 80 | 55 |
| #2 | Young Mouthwash | +3.02 | 67 | 40 |
| #3 | watu | +0.46 | 58 | 54 |
| #4 | SmashRadiation | -0.40 | 67 | 61 |
| #5 | The Dr of Poop | -1.79 | 66 | 59 |





