








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 281 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1492 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,235 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 392 | 7% |
| Smokes | 1336 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1995 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1512 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,087,682 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KennySped | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | Orangutan.exe | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | Kenny Racks | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | The Plague | 57% | 28 |
| #5 | Clean | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | jS | 50% | 58 |
| #9 | riko | 47% | 221 |
| #10 | KaiserRaging | 42% | 62 |
| #11 | YourLocalTechnician | 39% | 114 |
| #12 | CBT Enforcer | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | riko | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | The Plague | 6 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | YourLocalTechnician | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | g1gganator | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | jS | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jS | 238 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | riko | 222 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #3 | g1gganator | 131 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Clean | 92 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #5 | YourLocalTechnician | 77 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KennySped | +4.72 | 85 | 8 |
| #2 | Clean | +4.25 | 84 | 81 |
| #3 | riko | +3.78 | 86 | 55 |
| #4 | jS | +3.34 | 86 | 66 |
| #5 | Orangutan.exe | +2.90 | 73 | 66 |





