








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 583 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 455 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 117 matches | ||
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 133 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6480 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,343 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5601 | 17% |
| Smokes | 9299 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 9674 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 8769 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,670,329 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MallowSkat | 22 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | JoeDirt69 | 11 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | mikayla777 | 6 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | DanYeeT | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | OldStNick | 5 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MallowSkat | 3503 | 0.19 | 84 min |
| #2 | OldStNick | 586 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #3 | JoeDirt69 | 462 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #4 | mikayla777 | 446 | 0.03 | 11 min |
| #5 | trevor | 347 | 0.13 | 6 min |





