








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 555 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 369 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




146 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6241 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,815 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3093 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3992 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6312 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 4418 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,351,754 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 568 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | S1mple | 43% | 35 |
| #10 | Finch | 43% | 61 |
| #11 | Baschke | 42% | 83 |
| #12 | playerone | 38% | 53 |
| #13 | Bóbr kurwa | 30% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Finch | 17 | 0.0139 |
| #2 | Bóbr kurwa | 15 | 0.0166 |
| #3 | KampfnudeL | 12 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | hen | 12 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | Valentina | 10 | 0.0073 |





