








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 217 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2320 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,672 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1021 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2030 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2395 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2226 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,483,833 of utility $258 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 431 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | DHL Ferrero Rotsche | 43% | 106 |
| #13 | Finch | 42% | 36 |
| #14 | PaYnie | 36% | 25 |
| #15 | Vivi | 35% | 26 |
| #16 | Baschke | 31% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DHL Ferrero Rotsche | 22 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | Finch | 7 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | b a m. | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Valentina | 5 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | maNu.wmv | 4 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DHL Ferrero Rotsche | 190 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | maNu.wmv | 188 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | b a m. | 161 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | momo𝓇𝒶𝒾𝓃 | 143 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Valentina | 111 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PaYnie | +2.71 | 77 | 55 |
| #2 | maNu.wmv | +2.37 | 66 | 68 |
| #3 | Vivi | +2.00 | 69 | 56 |
| #4 | momo𝓇𝒶𝒾𝓃 | +1.46 | 66 | 63 |
| #5 | b a m. | +1.15 | 66 | 67 |





