








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1098 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,135 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1329 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1469 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1197 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1140 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $498,792 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 120 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | b a m. | 43% | 40 |
| #8 | hen | 42% | 36 |
| #9 | momo𝓇𝒶𝒾𝓃 | 40% | 25 |
| #10 | BALANÇA | 30% | 10 |
| #11 | maNu.wmv | 28% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DHL Ferrero Rotsche | 21 | 0.0177 |
| #2 | hen | 5 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | maNu.wmv | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | b a m. | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Vivi | 3 | 0.0062 |





