










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1173 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,631 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 780 | 21% |
| Smokes | 780 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1160 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 911 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $910,305 of utility $274 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emil | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Noname | 49% | 80 |
| #3 | Ron | 48% | 120 |
| #4 | perq | 46% | 123 |
| #5 | lundvanG | 46% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Noname | 49% | 80 |
| #3 | Ron | 48% | 120 |
| #4 | perq | 46% | 123 |
| #5 | lundvanG | 46% | 59 |
| #6 | MOSLUS | 40% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 10 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | lundvanG | 8 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Ron | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | perq | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | MOSLUS | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ron | 361 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | perq | 261 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | Noname | 248 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | lundvanG | 189 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | MOSLUS | 116 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | perq | +1.44 | 74 | 58 |
| #2 | Ron | +1.06 | 72 | 47 |
| #3 | Noname | +0.91 | 78 | 55 |
| #4 | lundvanG | -0.04 | 50 | 54 |
| #5 | Emil | -1.20 | 60 | 23 |





