








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 390 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1524 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,959 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1143 | 29% |
| Smokes | 898 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 839 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1079 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $597,539 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 131 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emil | 81% | 21 |
| #2 | Ron | 58% | 123 |
| #3 | MOSLUS | 56% | 57 |
| #4 | lundvanG | 56% | 34 |
| #5 | perq | 54% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Ron | 58% | 123 |
| #3 | MOSLUS | 56% | 57 |
| #4 | lundvanG | 56% | 34 |
| #5 | perq | 54% | 127 |
| #6 | Leif2k | 49% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ron | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | lundvanG | 5 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | perq | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Emil | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Leif2k | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ron | 345 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | perq | 250 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | lundvanG | 108 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Leif2k | 106 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | MOSLUS | 97 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ron | +1.63 | 74 | 46 |
| #2 | Noname | +1.23 | 79 | 54 |
| #3 | perq | +0.95 | 73 | 59 |
| #4 | lundvanG | -0.83 | 44 | 55 |
| #5 | Emil | -1.54 | 48 | 28 |





