










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
789 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,961 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 496 | 17% |
| Smokes | 662 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 665 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1138 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $583,604 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emil | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Espex | 56% | 57 |
| #3 | Ron | 51% | 71 |
| #4 | perq | 48% | 73 |
| #5 | Leif2k | 40% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Espex | 56% | 57 |
| #3 | Ron | 51% | 71 |
| #4 | perq | 48% | 73 |
| #5 | Leif2k | 40% | 77 |
| #6 | lundvanG | 39% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lundvanG | 9 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | Espex | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | perq | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Emil | 2 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | Leif2k | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ron | 198 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Espex | 182 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | perq | 167 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Leif2k | 105 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | lundvanG | 98 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Espex | +1.58 | 81 | 59 |
| #2 | Ron | +1.52 | 72 | 46 |
| #3 | perq | +1.22 | 72 | 61 |
| #4 | lundvanG | +0.20 | 48 | 50 |
| #5 | Emil | -1.14 | 48 | 30 |





