








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 188 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1540 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,360 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3051 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3301 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2735 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2273 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $461,857 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SuperTopo | 55% | 31 |
| #2 | McKingi | 53% | 60 |
| #3 | Creodus | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | Buf0 | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | McLippa | 50% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Buf0 | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | McLippa | 50% | 62 |
| #6 | Jonnu | 49% | 53 |
| #7 | eebis | 48% | 126 |
| #8 | Kaladin 폭풍의 축복 | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonnu | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | eebis | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | McLippa | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | McKingi | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | SuperTopo | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McLippa | 171 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | eebis | 145 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | SuperTopo | 67 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | McKingi | 65 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jonnu | 65 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonnu | +1.04 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | McKingi | +0.35 | 50 | 61 |
| #3 | eebis | +0.25 | 64 | 67 |
| #4 | McLippa | -0.65 | 50 | 72 |
| #5 | Kaladin 폭풍의 축복 | -0.78 | 48 | 57 |





