








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 379 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 307 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Esplay | 4 matches | 1,771 | |
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5190 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,798 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3076 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3682 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3514 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3526 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,184,635 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parabol-Nicklas | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | stoic.M1LL3 | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | シェリフ | 57% | 40 |
| #4 | Pr1nkle | 55% | 60 |
| #5 | obeezy | 52% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | stoic.M1LL3 | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | シェリフ | 57% | 40 |
| #4 | Pr1nkle | 55% | 60 |
| #5 | obeezy | 52% | 27 |
| #6 | marvin | 47% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marvin | 28 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Pr1nkle | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | シェリフ | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | obeezy | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Parabol-Nicklas | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marvin | 611 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #2 | Pr1nkle | 198 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | Parabol-Nicklas | 85 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | シェリフ | 77 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | obeezy | 24 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marvin | +3.53 | 83 | 51 |
| #2 | Parabol-Nicklas | +1.95 | 79 | 62 |
| #3 | シェリフ | +1.46 | 81 | 60 |
| #4 | Dreamer | +1.44 | 80 | 41 |
| #5 | Pr1nkle | -0.52 | 68 | 60 |





