








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
624 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,221 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 217 | 18% |
| Smokes | 369 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 311 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 324 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $378,876 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StickyWhirik | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | Dreamer | 52% | 27 |
| #3 | § | 44% | 16 |
| #4 | Mojomaka2 | 41% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StickyWhirik | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | Dreamer | 52% | 27 |
| #3 | § | 44% | 16 |
| #4 | Mojomaka2 | 41% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dreamer | 7 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | Mojomaka2 | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | § | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dreamer | 97 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #2 | Mojomaka2 | 85 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | § | 84 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #4 | StickyWhirik | 11 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | § | +2.95 | 82 | 46 |
| #2 | Dreamer | +2.39 | 82 | 39 |
| #3 | Mojomaka2 | +1.62 | 59 | 48 |
| #4 | StickyWhirik | +0.08 | 67 | 48 |
| #5 | Sigge | -2.07 | 59 | 37 |





