










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
417 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,389 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 434 | 18% |
| Smokes | 728 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 795 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 432 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $307,472 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 560 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HUBCIO | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Cwel | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | TurtlePP | 51% | 83 |
| #4 | Ne0noff | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | mlbl | 50% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bolextron | 5 | 0.0133 |
| #2 | Бартек | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | TurtlePP | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | mlbl | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Cwel | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Бартек | 117 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | TurtlePP | 63 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | mlbl | 45 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | bolextron | 25 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Cwel | 7 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ne0noff | +5.39 | 90 | 55 |
| #2 | TurtlePP | +4.50 | 84 | 33 |
| #3 | mlbl | +1.59 | 48 | 20 |
| #4 | Cwel | +1.36 | 64 | 58 |
| #5 | Бартек | +1.15 | 66 | 57 |





