








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 967 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3387 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,867 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1333 | 27% |
| Smokes | 538 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 1553 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1443 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $693,691 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 269 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Бартек | 54% | 100 |
| #2 | taflejk | 51% | 83 |
| #3 | mlbl | 50% | 98 |
| #4 | Light caseopening.com | 47% | 166 |
| #5 | A foul smell from the swamp | 44% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Бартек | 54% | 100 |
| #2 | taflejk | 51% | 83 |
| #3 | mlbl | 50% | 98 |
| #4 | Light caseopening.com | 47% | 166 |
| #5 | A foul smell from the swamp | 44% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | taflejk | 36 | 0.0211 |
| #2 | Light caseopening.com | 22 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | A foul smell from the swamp | 17 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Бартек | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | mlbl | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Light caseopening.com | 528 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | A foul smell from the swamp | 330 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | taflejk | 154 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Бартек | 150 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | mlbl | 52 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TurtlePP | +2.01 | 81 | 41 |
| #2 | mlbl | +0.94 | 49 | 21 |
| #3 | Light caseopening.com | +0.65 | 72 | 52 |
| #4 | Бартек | +0.59 | 69 | 57 |
| #5 | A foul smell from the swamp | -0.26 | 56 | 48 |





