








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1495 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 430 matches | ||
| Wingman | 339 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9203 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,547 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7488 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6554 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7261 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6244 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,213,233 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1535 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faqundo | 57% | 180 |
| #2 | b0rche | 55% | 302 |
| #3 | FETUCHINI | 54% | 82 |
| #4 | PANCHO | 51% | 149 |
| #5 | F | 50% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faqundo | 57% | 180 |
| #2 | b0rche | 55% | 302 |
| #3 | FETUCHINI | 54% | 82 |
| #4 | PANCHO | 51% | 149 |
| #5 | F | 50% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faqundo | 28 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | FETUCHINI | 27 | 0.0171 |
| #3 | F | 17 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | b0rche | 11 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | PANCHO | 11 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b0rche | 805 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #2 | F | 528 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | Faqundo | 438 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | PANCHO | 315 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #5 | FETUCHINI | 91 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | †BLUMHAGEN SLAYER† | +3.56 | 75 | 55 |
| #2 | Faqundo | +2.79 | 59 | 44 |
| #3 | F | -0.13 | 59 | 65 |
| #4 | b0rche | -0.90 | 70 | 49 |
| #5 | PANCHO | -1.63 | 56 | 54 |





