








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 737 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 432 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4825 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,458 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4504 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5227 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6544 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4183 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,326,774 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | † BLUMHAGEN SJJGOD † | 51% | 149 |
| #3 | Faq | 51% | 232 |
| #4 | fetuchini | 50% | 125 |
| #5 | Borche | 50% | 157 |
| #6 | Nachoq129 | 50% | 345 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nachoq129 | 1164 | 0.16 | 25 min |
| #2 | Borche | 571 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #3 | Faq | 564 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #4 | † BLUMHAGEN SJJGOD † | 353 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | fetuchini | 165 | 0.06 | 4 min |





