








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 308 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 211 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4912 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,465 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3197 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3331 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3704 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3233 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $497,251 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 803 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | † BLUMHAGEN SJJGOD † | 57% | 180 |
| #2 | Borche | 54% | 149 |
| #3 | Nachoq129 | 51% | 204 |
| #4 | fetuchini | 51% | 107 |
| #5 | La Panchoneta | 51% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | † BLUMHAGEN SJJGOD † | 57% | 180 |
| #2 | Borche | 54% | 149 |
| #3 | Nachoq129 | 51% | 204 |
| #4 | fetuchini | 51% | 107 |
| #5 | La Panchoneta | 51% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fetuchini | 36 | 0.0171 |
| #2 | La Panchoneta | 24 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Nachoq129 | 18 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | † BLUMHAGEN SJJGOD † | 16 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Borche | 7 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nachoq129 | 637 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #2 | † BLUMHAGEN SJJGOD † | 435 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | Borche | 431 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | La Panchoneta | 420 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #5 | fetuchini | 133 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faq | +3.28 | 63 | 52 |
| #2 | † BLUMHAGEN SJJGOD † | +2.86 | 78 | 61 |
| #3 | Nachoq129 | -0.14 | 66 | 70 |
| #4 | Borche | -0.81 | 77 | 56 |
| #5 | La Panchoneta | -1.38 | 60 | 57 |





