








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 220 matches | ||
| Wingman | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3169 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,574 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1007 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1562 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 505 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 1500 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $646,159 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doons | 63% | 65 |
| #2 | LA PASSION | 52% | 52 |
| #3 | lopenty | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | Manecas | 45% | 138 |
| #5 | Tercio | 45% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manecas | 33 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | LA PASSION | 22 | 0.0196 |
| #3 | Tercio | 15 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Doons | 8 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | lopenty | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tercio | 492 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #2 | Manecas | 463 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | LA PASSION | 91 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | ✛Ribz✛ | 45 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | lopenty | 11 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doons | +2.89 | 80 | 21 |
| #2 | Fati15 | +1.10 | 78 | 36 |
| #3 | ✛Ribz✛ | +0.73 | 63 | 45 |
| #4 | LA PASSION | +0.53 | 56 | 48 |
| #5 | Tercio | -0.83 | 27 | 61 |





