








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 176 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2068 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,292 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1187 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1159 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 782 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1164 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $717,392 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Y- | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | 5ch0lli | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | 999 | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | what is love | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | R.I.P my lovely friend <3 | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 5ch0lli | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | 999 | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | what is love | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | R.I.P my lovely friend <3 | 46% | 13 |
| #6 | Kektower | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 999 | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | 5ch0lli | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | -Y- | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | what is love | 84 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #2 | 5ch0lli | 78 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | 999 | 69 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | R.I.P my lovely friend <3 | 45 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | -Y- | 40 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Y- | +1.85 | 86 | 65 |
| #2 | what is love | +0.44 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | Kektower | +0.35 | 71 | 46 |
| #4 | 999 | +0.01 | 86 | 69 |
| #5 | ys | -0.08 | 84 | 54 |





