








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 171 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1465 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,298 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1112 | 34% |
| Smokes | 757 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 789 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 640 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $321,811 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 287 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chisako | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | what is love | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | stargazer | 71% | 14 |
| #4 | vyzzen | 67% | 9 |
| #5 | FaZeN999 | 62% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | FaZeN999 | 62% | 29 |
| #6 | 999 | 48% | 25 |
| #7 | ys | 46% | 13 |
| #8 | -Y- | 45% | 11 |
| #9 | Kektower | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FaZeN999 | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | vyzzen | 1 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 999 | 110 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #2 | FaZeN999 | 75 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | stargazer | 58 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | ys | 47 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | -Y- | 36 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vyzzen | +2.80 | 87 | 68 |
| #2 | chisako | +2.34 | 52 | 63 |
| #3 | FaZeN999 | +1.68 | 83 | 49 |
| #4 | R.I.P my lovely friend <3 | +1.46 | 91 | 57 |
| #5 | 999 | +1.27 | 82 | 57 |





