








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 407 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1116 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,726 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1309 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1469 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1067 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 881 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $486,790 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 223 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jxrg | 52% | 56 |
| #2 | The Hellcat Spangled Shalalala | 51% | 86 |
| #3 | Jafulay -SaiyajiN- | 38% | 21 |
| #4 | ひ harold | 35% | 31 |
| #5 | TAIWANESE PETE | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | The Hellcat Spangled Shalalala | 51% | 86 |
| #3 | Jafulay -SaiyajiN- | 38% | 21 |
| #4 | ひ harold | 35% | 31 |
| #5 | TAIWANESE PETE | 29% | 14 |
| #6 | norwegian war horse | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jxrg | 13 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | The Hellcat Spangled Shalalala | 12 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | ひ harold | 5 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | TAIWANESE PETE | 2 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | Jafulay -SaiyajiN- | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jafulay -SaiyajiN- | 132 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| #2 | Jxrg | 115 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | The Hellcat Spangled Shalalala | 54 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | TAIWANESE PETE | 44 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | ひ harold | 42 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jafulay -SaiyajiN- | +6.62 | 88 | 63 |
| #2 | Cavvers | +0.49 | 64 | 54 |
| #3 | The Hellcat Spangled Shalalala | +0.38 | 54 | 43 |
| #4 | Jxrg | -0.59 | 38 | 36 |
| #5 | ひ harold | -0.66 | 73 | 45 |





