








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 867 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2138 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,036 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 830 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1187 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1681 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1338 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,968,046 of utility $322 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 659 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jxrg | 52% | 200 |
| #2 | Cavvers | 51% | 86 |
| #3 | ひ harold | 51% | 51 |
| #4 | norwegian war horse | 42% | 36 |
| #5 | TAIWANESE PETE | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Cavvers | 51% | 86 |
| #3 | ひ harold | 51% | 51 |
| #4 | norwegian war horse | 42% | 36 |
| #5 | TAIWANESE PETE | 42% | 36 |
| #6 | Jafulay -SaiyajiN- | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jxrg | 36 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | Cavvers | 9 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | ひ harold | 8 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | TAIWANESE PETE | 6 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | Jafulay -SaiyajiN- | 6 | 0.0107 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jxrg | 315 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | Cavvers | 205 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jafulay -SaiyajiN- | 176 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| #4 | TAIWANESE PETE | 90 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | ひ harold | 66 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jafulay -SaiyajiN- | +8.30 | 89 | 64 |
| #2 | Cavvers | +1.42 | 66 | 50 |
| #3 | ひ harold | +1.19 | 76 | 47 |
| #4 | The Hellcat Spangled Shalalala | +0.73 | 49 | 47 |
| #5 | Jxrg | -0.53 | 34 | 36 |





