








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
954 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,590 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 576 | 16% |
| Smokes | 971 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1170 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 873 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $266,373 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moritz | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Reenzer™ | 63% | 35 |
| #3 | Qrazy | 55% | 49 |
| #4 | TheDevilsrevenge | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | Jiri11 | 48% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | tyrexs | 45% | 51 |
| #9 | Ḫ̵͆à̶̈́V̵̾̿̀ơ̴C̸ | 42% | 55 |
| #10 | V_JUR | 41% | 91 |
| #11 | Sence | 33% | 12 |
| #12 | LuckyLuke_ | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | V_JUR | 19 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | Ḫ̵͆à̶̈́V̵̾̿̀ơ̴C̸ | 16 | 0.0144 |
| #3 | Jiri11 | 11 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | Qrazy | 11 | 0.0113 |
| #5 | tyrexs | 4 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ḫ̵͆à̶̈́V̵̾̿̀ơ̴C̸ | 227 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | Jiri11 | 157 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | V_JUR | 154 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Qrazy | 149 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | tyrexs | 64 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ḫ̵͆à̶̈́V̵̾̿̀ơ̴C̸ | +6.48 | 90 | 80 |
| #2 | Reenzer™ | +3.82 | 79 | 60 |
| #3 | Statch | +2.83 | 71 | 68 |
| #4 | V_JUR | +2.08 | 70 | 59 |
| #5 | Moritz | +1.96 | 59 | 42 |





