








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 524 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 341 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




132 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5970 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,200 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4416 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5011 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5076 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4697 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,885,157 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3198 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Statch | 52% | 58 |
| #2 | Reenzer™ | 51% | 113 |
| #3 | Qrazy | 50% | 54 |
| #4 | TheDevilsrevenge | 50% | 62 |
| #5 | Jiri11 | 49% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Jiri11 | 49% | 101 |
| #6 | Ḫ̵͆à̶̈́V̵̾̿̀ơ̴C̸ | 47% | 208 |
| #7 | b0mbushka69 | 41% | 91 |
| #8 | LuckyLuke_ | 38% | 47 |
| #9 | tyrexs | 32% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ḫ̵͆à̶̈́V̵̾̿̀ơ̴C̸ | 34 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | Jiri11 | 23 | 0.0118 |
| #3 | b0mbushka69 | 19 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | Statch | 10 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | TheDevilsrevenge | 10 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ḫ̵͆à̶̈́V̵̾̿̀ơ̴C̸ | 677 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #2 | Jiri11 | 239 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Reenzer™ | 168 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Statch | 124 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Qrazy | 108 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ḫ̵͆à̶̈́V̵̾̿̀ơ̴C̸ | +3.72 | 90 | 74 |
| #2 | Reenzer™ | +2.11 | 80 | 56 |
| #3 | Statch | +1.05 | 80 | 58 |
| #4 | V_JUR | +1.00 | 69 | 56 |
| #5 | Qrazy | +0.67 | 63 | 53 |





