








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 605 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Faceit | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3773 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,344 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1634 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2794 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 611 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 2305 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,653,856 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 247 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helvijs Kirk | 73% | 45 |
| #2 | John Burgerson | 63% | 70 |
| #3 | Mato | 61% | 41 |
| #4 | Ch1p | 61% | 76 |
| #5 | DrSpecial03 | 58% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Legacy | 54% | 26 |
| #8 | Tobbe | 49% | 55 |
| #9 | Papa Meat | 47% | 59 |
| #10 | Fl1ckS | 44% | 25 |
| #11 | Waggelman | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John Burgerson | 12 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | traktor | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Papa Meat | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Helvijs Kirk | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Mato | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John Burgerson | 308 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | Mato | 261 | 0.31 | 6 min |
| #3 | DrSpecial03 | 204 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Tobbe | 177 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | Papa Meat | 172 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helvijs Kirk | +2.24 | 64 | 55 |
| #2 | Mato | +2.22 | 52 | 56 |
| #3 | traktor | +1.69 | 84 | 56 |
| #4 | Fl1ckS | +1.43 | 58 | 68 |
| #5 | Tarzan | +1.01 | 59 | 40 |





