








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1240 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Wingman | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 100 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




256 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6673 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,758 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7616 | 35% |
| Smokes | 7021 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2489 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 4632 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,447,271 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1641 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tarzan | 63% | 70 |
| #2 | £$£$£$£$£ | 59% | 110 |
| #3 | Ch1p | 52% | 82 |
| #4 | davidR | 39% | 41 |
| #5 | Katega | 30% | 200 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tarzan | 63% | 70 |
| #2 | £$£$£$£$£ | 59% | 110 |
| #3 | Ch1p | 52% | 82 |
| #4 | davidR | 39% | 41 |
| #5 | Katega | 30% | 200 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Katega | 167 | 0.0501 |
| #2 | £$£$£$£$£ | 20 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | davidR | 8 | 0.0112 |
| #4 | Ch1p | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Tarzan | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | £$£$£$£$£ | 545 | 0.26 | 16 min |
| #2 | Katega | 196 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ch1p | 165 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Tarzan | 74 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | davidR | 52 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | £$£$£$£$£ | +3.17 | 69 | 66 |
| #2 | John Burgerson | +2.07 | 80 | 55 |
| #3 | Tarzan | +0.72 | 59 | 41 |
| #4 | Ch1p | -0.33 | 63 | 53 |
| #5 | davidR | -2.02 | 21 | 14 |





