








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 228 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 162 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1232 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,341 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2915 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2472 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1965 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 989 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $343,757 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 259 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | connor | 48% | 157 |
| #2 | ¥eizu | 47% | 58 |
| #3 | Ian Michael Cook | 43% | 60 |
| #4 | ★ Bronson | 42% | 38 |
| #5 | Jack. | 40% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ¥eizu | 47% | 58 |
| #3 | Ian Michael Cook | 43% | 60 |
| #4 | ★ Bronson | 42% | 38 |
| #5 | Jack. | 40% | 43 |
| #6 | 48kg penis wide | 37% | 208 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 48kg penis wide | 89 | 0.0228 |
| #2 | Ian Michael Cook | 34 | 0.0279 |
| #3 | connor | 24 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | Jack. | 19 | 0.0235 |
| #5 | ★ Bronson | 12 | 0.0170 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 48kg penis wide | 215 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #2 | Jack. | 182 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ian Michael Cook | 147 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | connor | 131 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | ★ Bronson | 41 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | connor | +7.77 | 87 | 24 |
| #2 | 48kg penis wide | +0.94 | 67 | 17 |
| #3 | ★ Bronson | +0.93 | 51 | 26 |
| #4 | Ian Michael Cook | +0.64 | 53 | 29 |
| #5 | Jack. | -1.13 | 67 | 36 |





