








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 711 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 162 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




119 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2740 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,024 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1136 | 56% |
| Smokes | 482 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 349 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 57 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $476,304 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 651 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | connor | 49% | 172 |
| #2 | ★ Bronson | 44% | 63 |
| #3 | Jack. | 42% | 91 |
| #4 | ¥eizu | 42% | 77 |
| #5 | Ian Michael Cook | 40% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ★ Bronson | 44% | 63 |
| #3 | Jack. | 42% | 91 |
| #4 | ¥eizu | 42% | 77 |
| #5 | Ian Michael Cook | 40% | 43 |
| #6 | Rbuds123 | 37% | 208 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rbuds123 | 37 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Jack. | 34 | 0.0198 |
| #3 | Ian Michael Cook | 27 | 0.0318 |
| #4 | connor | 25 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | ★ Bronson | 17 | 0.0140 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rbuds123 | 875 | 0.22 | 16 min |
| #2 | Jack. | 373 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | connor | 158 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Ian Michael Cook | 99 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | ★ Bronson | 66 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | connor | +6.55 | 88 | 25 |
| #2 | ★ Bronson | +1.11 | 50 | 30 |
| #3 | Ian Michael Cook | +0.61 | 49 | 28 |
| #4 | 48kg penis wide | +0.47 | 67 | 19 |
| #5 | Jack. | -0.99 | 64 | 42 |





