








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 651 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 152 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,077 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 463 | 15% |
| Smokes | 458 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 948 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1208 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $462,528 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 404 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ Bronson | 58% | 57 |
| #2 | Jack. | 56% | 62 |
| #3 | ¥eizu | 49% | 89 |
| #4 | 48kg penis wide | 49% | 172 |
| #5 | Rbuds123 | 48% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Jack. | 56% | 62 |
| #3 | ¥eizu | 49% | 89 |
| #4 | 48kg penis wide | 49% | 172 |
| #5 | Rbuds123 | 48% | 157 |
| #6 | Ian Michael Cook | 43% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 48kg penis wide | 59 | 0.0181 |
| #2 | Ian Michael Cook | 36 | 0.0254 |
| #3 | Rbuds123 | 22 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | Jack. | 15 | 0.0117 |
| #5 | ★ Bronson | 7 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rbuds123 | 722 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #2 | Jack. | 245 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ian Michael Cook | 165 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | 48kg penis wide | 140 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | ★ Bronson | 73 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | connor | +6.17 | 87 | 25 |
| #2 | ★ Bronson | +0.83 | 55 | 27 |
| #3 | Ian Michael Cook | +0.18 | 55 | 32 |
| #4 | 48kg penis wide | -0.05 | 69 | 16 |
| #5 | Jack. | -0.80 | 71 | 44 |





