










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
562 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 450 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 147 | 33% |
| Smokes | 170 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 52 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 81 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $57,264 of utility $21 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lego Vader | 62 | 0.0303 |
| #2 | George H. W. Bush | 32 | 0.0219 |
| #3 | Jack Weinberger | 16 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | Don't Smoke. | 13 | 0.0244 |
| #5 | 6 Figure Brad | 6 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don't Smoke. | +6.49 | 53 | 51 |
| #2 | Lego Vader | +5.25 | 51 | 25 |
| #3 | Jack Weinberger | +2.55 | 55 | 48 |
| #4 | 6 Figure Brad | +0.99 | 26 | 35 |
| #5 | Jesse Pinkman | -1.40 | 22 | 13 |





