








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




94 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1882 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,714 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 296 | 11% |
| Smokes | 808 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 594 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1016 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $306,915 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 555 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jack Weinberger | 49% | 119 |
| #2 | Jesse Pinkman | 44% | 34 |
| #3 | 6 Figure Brad | 43% | 140 |
| #4 | FanIsLegendary | 40% | 104 |
| #5 | George H. W. Bush | 38% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | George H. W. Bush | 32 | 0.0186 |
| #2 | Don't Smoke. | 31 | 0.0222 |
| #3 | FanIsLegendary | 20 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | Jack Weinberger | 19 | 0.0081 |
| #5 | 6 Figure Brad | 13 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don't Smoke. | +5.91 | 56 | 43 |
| #2 | Lego Vader | +4.12 | 47 | 22 |
| #3 | Jack Weinberger | +1.38 | 52 | 48 |
| #4 | 6 Figure Brad | +0.64 | 26 | 30 |
| #5 | Jesse Pinkman | -2.16 | 28 | 4 |





