








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
424 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 583 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 42 | 7% |
| Smokes | 31 | 5% |
| HE Grenades | 236 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 274 | 47% |
Our logs show you have wasted $59,553 of utility $22 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 160 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jack Weinberger | 40% | 80 |
| #2 | Lego Vader | 38% | 88 |
| #3 | 6 Figure Brad | 36% | 69 |
| #4 | Jesse Pinkman | 33% | 12 |
| #5 | FanIsLegendary | 29% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lego Vader | 43 | 0.0247 |
| #2 | FanIsLegendary | 15 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | Jack Weinberger | 10 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Don't Smoke. | 9 | 0.0149 |
| #5 | 6 Figure Brad | 5 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jack Weinberger | 96 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | 6 Figure Brad | 93 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Don't Smoke. | 79 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lego Vader | 68 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | FanIsLegendary | 45 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don't Smoke. | +5.87 | 56 | 51 |
| #2 | Lego Vader | +5.62 | 52 | 27 |
| #3 | 6 Figure Brad | +2.33 | 28 | 40 |
| #4 | Jack Weinberger | +2.32 | 54 | 45 |
| #5 | FanIsLegendary | -4.01 | 14 | 4 |





