








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 273 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
909 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,400 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 306 | 22% |
| Smokes | 229 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 387 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 478 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $408,362 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 304 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burger Beers | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | sabre | 45% | 78 |
| #3 | Osaka 2 | 44% | 158 |
| #4 | Brallon | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | canada | 41% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sabre | 238 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Osaka 2 | 174 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | canada | 70 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Osaka 4 | 68 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | Burger Beers | 39 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sabre | +5.98 | 57 | 57 |
| #2 | Brallon | +3.75 | 69 | 24 |
| #3 | canada | +2.80 | 34 | 30 |
| #4 | Osaka 2 | +1.67 | 51 | 48 |
| #5 | Burger Beers | -0.35 | 27 | 17 |





