








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2103 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,591 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2063 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1056 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1838 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 634 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $681,907 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juustoinenpinppi | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | dude son | 49% | 100 |
| #3 | PystykorvaPimppi | 48% | 109 |
| #4 | Mistah Mayonais | 43% | 137 |
| #5 | huzz whisperer | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juustoinenpinppi | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | dude son | 49% | 100 |
| #3 | PystykorvaPimppi | 48% | 109 |
| #4 | Mistah Mayonais | 43% | 137 |
| #5 | huzz whisperer | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dude son | 11 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Mistah Mayonais | 10 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Juustoinenpinppi | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | PystykorvaPimppi | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mistah Mayonais | 310 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | dude son | 166 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | PystykorvaPimppi | 82 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | huzz whisperer | 33 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Juustoinenpinppi | 31 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dude son | +1.16 | 65 | 56 |
| #2 | PystykorvaPimppi | +0.10 | 71 | 44 |
| #3 | sebu | -0.17 | 43 | 59 |
| #4 | Juustoinenpinppi | -1.40 | 55 | 44 |
| #5 | Mistah Mayonais | -1.86 | 59 | 56 |





