








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
227 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,035 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 172 | 17% |
| Smokes | 276 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 335 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 252 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $90,455 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meluksli | 1 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | mehinosu | 1 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | pahvi4 | 1 | 0.0093 |
| #4 | työmaa | 1 | 0.0105 |
| #5 | zRD3 | 1 | 0.0357 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meluksli | 39 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #2 | Mike Subhouse | 27 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | aRDE | 27 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | mehinosu | 25 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | pokka | 21 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muttjake | +7.05 | 18 | 73 |
| #2 | PerttiGG | +6.00 | 68 | 45 |
| #3 | Epukkaツ | +5.44 | 82 | 59 |
| #4 | Meluksli | +3.67 | 77 | 54 |
| #5 | pokka | +2.94 | 70 | 47 |





