








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 381 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
861 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,483 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 523 | 35% |
| Smokes | 367 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 401 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 192 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $484,358 of utility $308 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 215 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | do em bad | 100% | 13 |
| #2 | pew pew | 97% | 30 |
| #3 | dome. | 86% | 14 |
| #4 | mv | 85% | 26 |
| #5 | y | 84% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | dome. | 86% | 14 |
| #4 | mv | 85% | 26 |
| #5 | y | 84% | 43 |
| #6 | eagle | 74% | 42 |
| #7 | liaht | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pew pew | 14 | 0.0255 |
| #2 | eagle | 8 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | y | 7 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | dome. | 5 | 0.0180 |
| #5 | do em bad | 3 | 0.0109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | y | 71 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #2 | mv | 61 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | eagle | 59 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | pew pew | 54 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | do em bad | 40 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pew pew | +8.96 | 95 | 71 |
| #2 | eagle | +4.49 | 82 | 61 |
| #3 | do em bad | +3.11 | 83 | 54 |
| #4 | mv | +2.71 | 77 | 59 |
| #5 | chaos | +1.16 | 82 | 50 |





