








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 612 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1607 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,780 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 717 | 19% |
| Smokes | 799 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1128 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1136 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $785,890 of utility $244 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1053 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | do em bad | 91% | 32 |
| #2 | mv | 89% | 56 |
| #3 | chaos | 84% | 43 |
| #4 | eagle | 82% | 76 |
| #5 | dome. | 81% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | chaos | 84% | 43 |
| #4 | eagle | 82% | 76 |
| #5 | dome. | 81% | 37 |
| #6 | liaht | 80% | 46 |
| #7 | pew pew | 78% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pew pew | 22 | 0.0221 |
| #2 | chaos | 18 | 0.0215 |
| #3 | eagle | 13 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | dome. | 12 | 0.0166 |
| #5 | mv | 11 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | liaht | 133 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | eagle | 132 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | mv | 111 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | dome. | 103 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | chaos | 102 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pew pew | +7.53 | 95 | 62 |
| #2 | eagle | +5.49 | 83 | 56 |
| #3 | do em bad | +4.33 | 90 | 49 |
| #4 | mv | +2.72 | 62 | 57 |
| #5 | liaht | +1.70 | 86 | 48 |





