








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 219 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3674 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,176 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3151 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1702 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3371 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1952 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $952,486 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sollaar | 92% | 25 |
| #2 | Ulib0b | 91% | 46 |
| #3 | :|) | 81% | 94 |
| #4 | zeny | 79% | 78 |
| #5 | kaluallu | 75% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaluallu | 8 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | :|) | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | -KimBo- | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Ulib0b | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Bosan3n {-.-} | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :|) | 469 | 0.27 | 16 min |
| #2 | -KimBo- | 395 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #3 | kaluallu | 144 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | zeny | 140 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jkinen | 136 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sollaar | +6.39 | 88 | 79 |
| #2 | :|) | +5.65 | 92 | 94 |
| #3 | kaluallu | +1.44 | 82 | 72 |
| #4 | Ulib0b | +1.14 | 89 | 64 |
| #5 | Dynlo | +0.99 | 54 | 58 |





