








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 546 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5497 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,836 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3283 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3647 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4425 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4481 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $903,310 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Sollaar | 88% | 75 |
| #10 | bnzk | 86% | 29 |
| #11 | kippo^ ez.org | 82% | 161 |
| #12 | kyykyttaja | 80% | 114 |
| #13 | RähiseväMarko | 53% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :|) | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | zeny | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Jkinen | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | kaluallu | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | 700x1080 Taplikas_Jorma | 4 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :|) | 1106 | 0.26 | 38 min |
| #2 | kippo^ ez.org | 761 | 0.25 | 23 min |
| #3 | Jkinen | 508 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #4 | zeny | 353 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #5 | kaluallu | 332 | 0.17 | 9 min |





