










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2340 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 120 matches | ||
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8287 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,596 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10410 | 28% |
| Smokes | 8807 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8732 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 8647 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,246,139 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1370 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ulib0b | 91% | 236 |
| #2 | kippo^ ez.org | 86% | 107 |
| #3 | Sollaar | 86% | 242 |
| #4 | zeny | 85% | 420 |
| #5 | bnzk | 85% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Jkinen | 83% | 269 |
| #8 | kaluallu | 83% | 304 |
| #9 | 700x1080 Taplikas_Jorma | 81% | 94 |
| #10 | Suoladgl | 80% | 122 |
| #11 | ville1 | 73% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaluallu | 21 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | zeny | 17 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Ulib0b | 14 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Jkinen | 11 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Sollaar | 9 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jkinen | 1113 | 0.22 | 30 min |
| #2 | Sollaar | 974 | 0.23 | 27 min |
| #3 | kaluallu | 960 | 0.18 | 26 min |
| #4 | zeny | 673 | 0.09 | 20 min |
| #5 | Suoladgl | 454 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :|) | +5.10 | 92 | 93 |
| #2 | Sollaar | +5.05 | 87 | 78 |
| #3 | kaluallu | +2.54 | 85 | 72 |
| #4 | Ulib0b | +1.85 | 82 | 60 |
| #5 | Suoladgl | +1.41 | 80 | 70 |





