








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
982 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,366 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 699 | 51% |
| Smokes | 207 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 265 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 195 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $100,571 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [LGC]TwInKy49 | 3 | 0.0313 |
| #2 | s | 3 | 0.0341 |
| #3 | lay. | 2 | 0.0127 |
| #4 | Amleiza | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | PhillyFlingo | 1 | 0.0104 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amleiza | 112 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | ici ca baise | 109 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | BrigadeDeStups | 72 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #4 | s | 40 | 0.45 | 1 min |
| #5 | PhillyFlingo | 23 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PhillyFlingo | +7.41 | 57 | 56 |
| #2 | Your Daron The Framboisier | +3.33 | 87 | 45 |
| #3 | ici ca baise | +2.24 | 89 | 45 |
| #4 | lay. | +1.60 | 75 | 39 |
| #5 | [LGC]TwInKy49 | +1.16 | 44 | 40 |





