








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 113 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1433 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,708 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1125 | 42% |
| Smokes | 730 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 498 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 355 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $179,046 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BrigadeDeStups | 71% | 49 |
| #2 | Amleiza | 67% | 98 |
| #3 | lay. | 65% | 34 |
| #4 | Your Daron The Framboisier | 54% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BrigadeDeStups | 71% | 49 |
| #2 | Amleiza | 67% | 98 |
| #3 | lay. | 65% | 34 |
| #4 | Your Daron The Framboisier | 54% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Your Daron The Framboisier | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | lay. | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Amleiza | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amleiza | 298 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | BrigadeDeStups | 211 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | lay. | 117 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | Your Daron The Framboisier | 57 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ici ca baise | +2.52 | 88 | 48 |
| #2 | Your Daron The Framboisier | +0.94 | 84 | 43 |
| #3 | lay. | +0.65 | 78 | 54 |
| #4 | BrigadeDeStups | -0.62 | 78 | 57 |
| #5 | Amleiza | -0.66 | 75 | 65 |





