








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 372 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




128 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8043 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,836 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6201 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3587 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3827 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4221 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,410,670 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 945 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | röökiluukku | 53% | 213 |
| #6 | 𝐾𝑎𝑡𝑎 | 51% | 45 |
| #7 | Superroisto | 49% | 35 |
| #8 | imjustagirl<3 | 46% | 37 |
| #9 | Putin's strongest soldier | 30% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | röökiluukku | 50 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | Putin's strongest soldier | 21 | 0.0180 |
| #3 | imjustagirl<3 | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Pedro | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | 𝐾𝑎𝑡𝑎 | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | röökiluukku | 158 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #2 | Putin's strongest soldier | 95 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Superroisto | 43 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Pedro | 40 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | vico | 29 | 0.04 | 1 min |





