










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 417 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1517 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,465 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 253 | 10% |
| Smokes | 556 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 416 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1240 | 50% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,062,534 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 418 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FluorineUraniumCarbonPotassiumU | 73% | 70 |
| #2 | june | 70% | 33 |
| #3 | Draik | 68% | 31 |
| #4 | n40m1 | 66% | 80 |
| #5 | vinny | 61% | 49 |





