








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
407 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,086 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 404 | 19% |
| Smokes | 480 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 745 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 457 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $272,075 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Nameless | 40% | 5 |
| #10 | byte :) | 40% | 5 |
| #11 | TheZazaNator | 40% | 40 |
| #12 | 𝗨𝗡𝗘𝗫 | Jsn | 39% | 18 |
| #13 | [Unex] Blxck | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Unex] VegazHQ | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | [Unex] spreGGo | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | TheZazaNator | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | [Unex] Silverr | 2 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | 𝗨𝗡𝗘𝗫 | Jsn | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Unex] spreGGo | 97 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | TheZazaNator | 76 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | [Unex] VegazHQ | 42 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | [Unex] Silverr | 33 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | COUNTER-SMOKE | 31 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Unex] Silverr | +10.71 | 83 | 56 |
| #2 | Nameless | +3.50 | 65 | 49 |
| #3 | byte :) | +2.92 | 61 | 59 |
| #4 | [Unex] VegazHQ | +1.79 | 37 | 37 |
| #5 | [Unex] fluffyNora | +1.78 | 60 | 42 |





