










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 169 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
706 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 941 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 185 | 20% |
| Smokes | 340 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 252 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 164 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $512,046 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Unex] fluffyNora | 76% | 45 |
| #2 | [Unex] Cubbi | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | π¨π‘ππ« | Temperatur | 69% | 49 |
| #4 | π¨π‘ππ« | Leo | 65% | 37 |
| #5 | TheZazaNator | 53% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | [Unex] VegazHQ | 45% | 66 |
| #8 | [Unex] spreGGo | 45% | 49 |
| #9 | π¨π‘ππ« | SeΓ±or | 45% | 47 |
| #10 | [Unex] Sasty | 39% | 18 |
| #11 | Moon | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheZazaNator | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | [Unex] VegazHQ | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | π¨π‘ππ« | SeΓ±or | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | π¨π‘ππ« | Temperatur | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | [Unex] fluffyNora | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheZazaNator | 194 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | [Unex] fluffyNora | 162 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | π¨π‘ππ« | SeΓ±or | 117 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | [Unex] spreGGo | 111 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | π¨π‘ππ« | Temperatur | 104 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Unex] VegazHQ | +3.79 | 39 | 31 |
| #2 | π¨π‘ππ« | Temperatur | +2.86 | 63 | 53 |
| #3 | π¨π‘ππ« | Leo | +2.70 | 52 | 50 |
| #4 | [Unex] fluffyNora | +2.38 | 45 | 50 |
| #5 | [Unex] Cubbi | +2.15 | 54 | 25 |





