








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 255 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3137 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,639 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2411 | 43% |
| Smokes | 966 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 941 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1321 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $740,134 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bubs | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | Concabar | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | smItty | 63% | 72 |
| #4 | N0M1N4L_ZA | 60% | 30 |
| #5 | ❦︎Solution❦ | 57% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ❦︎Solution❦ | 57% | 51 |
| #6 | Sammy the Shifting Spanner | 47% | 17 |
| #7 | ZyX | 44% | 16 |
| #8 | Prometheus | 42% | 36 |
| #9 | ★彡✘HYdrA_FuRy✘彡★ | 27% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smItty | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | bubs | 4 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | Sammy the Shifting Spanner | 3 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | ZyX | 3 | 0.0094 |
| #5 | ★彡✘HYdrA_FuRy✘彡★ | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❦︎Solution❦ | 227 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #2 | Sammy the Shifting Spanner | 109 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #3 | Prometheus | 76 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | ZyX | 70 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | smItty | 62 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZyX | +2.93 | 62 | 66 |
| #2 | bubs | +1.77 | 74 | 52 |
| #3 | smItty | +1.63 | 69 | 44 |
| #4 | MrMoses | +1.32 | 66 | 50 |
| #5 | N0M1N4L_ZA | +0.26 | 48 | 57 |





